


How can the darkness feel so wrong?  (And I'm alone now)

by orphan_account



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Major Spoilers, Post-Season/Series 02, The Kree Stone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-30 13:58:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 20,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3939421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She felt nothing and she felt everything. She saw nothing and she saw everything. She was nothing and she was everything.</p><p>*KINDA TEMPORARILY, MAYBE ON HOLD DUE TO SCHOOL*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I've read many theories on the those five seconds from the season finale and I wanted to fic it. Title from Your Star by Evanescence. Marvel owns all.

She felt nothing and she felt everything. She saw nothing and she saw everything. She was nothing and she was everything. She could feel the pain of everything in the universe, and yet she felt nothing. She saw everything that had happened, everything that was happening and everything that has yet to happen and could ever happen. She was part of the universe, and she was also not part of the universe. As if she were some distant entity. Disconnected from the universe, and in a sense, life itself. She supposed she was. She hadn't been whole, hadn't been human since, well since the Stone had turned to liquid and forced her to become one with it. She was no longer Jemma Simmons. She was part of this Stone. There was no line to distinguish her from it, and no line to distinguish it from her. She made up its very being and it made up her. They were both one entity from that point on.

***

When she didn't come and find him an hour later, he went back to check on her. She wasn't there. Had she left? Had she gone to get ready? Had she...

No, he shook his head. He wouldn't think that. She wouldn't do that. She wouldn't bail on him. She wanted this as much as he did. She wouldn't bail on him. He looked around the room then his eyes came to rest on the glass case that held the Stone. The door was wide open. The Stone solidified. 

And then he ran.

***

He pulled up the security feeds for the storage room and both instantly regretted it and was, in a sense thankful, he did. It showed where she had disappeared to, where she had gone. She had been absorbed by the Stone. The Kree Stone. The Stone whose powers were still unknown to them.

And Jemma Simmons was trapped in the midst of it.

***

She was in and out of states were she could remember her own life and that scared her. She couldn't remember the last thing she was doing, where she was, who she was even sometimes, and others, every single thing she had ever done and every single thought she had ever had. It was overwhelming and it hurt her. She waned to cry, to shout, to scream. But how could she?

She was a being with no body. She was just a jumble of atoms mixed with an alien artefact. 

She was just a thought, just a conscience. Not even real any more.

And Fitz, oh God Fitz. She was going to miss her date with him. He was going to be disappointed in her.

***

She was gone. Simply gone. How did that happen? How had that thing simply consumed her and made her one with it? What had it wanted with her.

He was so lost in what was happening, what was going wrong (when everything was going right, when everything was looking up, this had to happen) that he didn't notice Skye coming up behind him.

"We'll save her," she said, though she didn't sound that confident.

Fitz nodded, but how could he reassure Skye, reassure himself, reassure anyone when he didn't even know what had happened to her, and more importantly, how to save her.

***

Knowledge. She had so much of it. She had always valued that about herself, or she thought she did. She didn't know any more. Didn't know herself any more. She was having more and more periods of time when she didn't know who she was. Maybe that was actually a good thing. This alien artefact erasing everything that made her. Erasing the pain.

She wondered (could she still do that? Could she still think for herself or was this the Stone thinking for her? She didn't know.) how long she had been in there. Hours? Days? Weeks? Years?

***

Fitz found his way to the storage room everyday. He just sat and watched the Stone. It stayed motionless and had done since it had absorbed Jemma. Had it gotten what it wanted and was now content, or as content as a rock could be, or was it waiting for its next unwilling victim?

And, the most important thing of all, was Jemma OK? Was she trapped in the Stone? Was she one with the Stone? Was she still here, in this room, in this universe? Or was she travelling the cosmos, in a different universe, somewhere out of his reach? Was she in pain? Was she at peace? Was she alive? Was she dead?  

He stood up at the beginning of the third week, and walked towards the box, for the first time since that fateful day and rested his head against the glass, his left hand pressing up against the glass, as if he were trying to break through, trying to reach her. 

"I love you Jems," he muttered.

***

She had felt darkness for so long. Darkness and misery and pain for so long that it hurt when she heard him say those four words. Fitz. Her Fitz.

She felt his presence up against the glass, causing an ache but one that felt better than all that she had endured for the time she had been stuck here, in this void.

And she wanted to escape. She had to escape. She wasn't going to let anything stand between her and Fitz. That one though was going to get her through this.

Fitz.

Also, she had a date and she wouldn't miss that for the world.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to write any more but I felt like I needed to.

Weeks dragged by and they were still no closer to figuring out, how to save Jemma, why the Rock had taken her in the first place and what it was doing to her. It had still stayed in its solidified form, not turning into the very liquid that had trapped her and caused them to be in this situation in the very first place.

And Fitz continued to sit in the room every day, but from a distance, Coulson had refused to allow him up close to it, to allow him up to the glass. 

They'd argued about it.

"Why not?" Fitz had all but shouted at Coulson. "She's trapped in there, she's in pain and she's suffering!"

Coulson had difficulty in formulating a reply to this. Yes she was trapped, but they didn't know if she were in pain or not, didn't know if the rock had transported her, didn't even know if she were alive.

But he couldn't tell Fitz that, how could he even begin to tell Fitz that there was a possibility that his best friend, his other half, was dead. He couldn't, so he said this instead, "This Rock Fitz, it seems semi-sentient, alive even. That could possibly be why it took her and we can't take any more risks, not until we know the whole story behind this."

After that, Coulson decided, he needed to remove the door from his office and replace it with a sliding one.

*** 

She was losing herself more and more, and that should have scared her, but it didn't. What scared her was losing Fitz. Would he ever forgive her for missing their date? Or would they get their date? 

She didn't know. Or did she?

They seemed to be the only thoughts that she was having, thoughts that contradicted each other. Thoughts that contradicted each other. 

But where they both hers? Where they both from this substance that had trapped her?

Or did one come from her, and the other from the Rock?

That made sense. The Rock had been passing on its knowledge to her, giving her all the secrets to the universe. But that was causing her pain, making her suffer. Was this it's plan?

To pass on the whisperings of the cosmos?

No, she didn't want that.

All she wanted was Fitz.

Fitz.

***

Mac and Skye, with some help from Fitz, he just preferred to sit and watch the rock, refusing to take his eyes of it in case something happened, had managed to set up monitors to track for vital signs or any signs that Jemma was still in there, alive or not.

That had been a month previous and there was still nothing. Until the day that the monitors for the Rock itself spiked, signalling that it was going to turn into a liquid. 

The Rock seemed to melt, and as quick as that had happened, it reformed, from the bottom up, rebuilding itself as if nothing had happened. Fitz, having scrambled to his feet as this point, let out one word.

A single uttered word. A plead with the Rock.

"Please."

***

How could someone who had no body, was not human, someone who was only a though, only a conscious be ripped apart? How could they feel that pain? 

She didn't know, but that's what it felt like, being ripped apart and her atoms were lost in the ocean of black and grey as the Rock became a liquid again.

As if building her from scratch. Recreating her.

***

Fitz checked what would be her vitals for the moment of the spike, what had become know as The Melting and then the re-solidifying.

And her's had spiked.

Beyond recognition that moment that the Rock was liquid.

It was inhuman?

Or was it Inhuman?

He shook that thought from his head, no it couldn't be. That Rock was dangerous to them. It wouldn't take one and let them live this long?

Unless that was the process of death within the Rock?

No, he shook his head again. He was panicking himself. He would know if she were dead. He would sense it.

He looked at the monitor now, knowing that everything would be as it had been for the previous month.

But it wasn't.

There were vital signs now.

What Jemma's vital signs should be.

Could that mean...

No, it couldn't. 

She was trapped in there, as if she had been one with the Rock, for all that time and now they were two separate entities again. Jemma Simmons and the Rock.

The Rock and Jemma Simmons.

Jemma.

He let himself hope.

He let a flicker of a smile momentarily grace his face.

She was alive.

And he was going to save her.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, Marvel owns all


	3. Chapter Three

It had been two weeks since the monitors had picked up her vital signs. Two weeks. And in that time, the Rock had turned to liquid and re-solidified every 36 hours. Like clock work.

Did it have a plan? Was there a reason behind this?

Was it doing this to tease him? To taunt him?

He shook his head. Yes, there was evidence that this Rock was alive. It had chosen Jemma for a reason (but what reason?) and it had waited all this time. 

And now it was changing states, regularly.

And that scared him.

He resumed his place on the ground in front of the box. The box that became a prison to the Rock that had become a prison to Jemma.

His Jemma. 

There was two minutes to the next time that the Rock turned to liquid and he had a plan.

***

Time was no longer something that mattered to her. She was now trapped in this Rock. 

At least she had a body now, that had to count for something, didn't it?

She was no longer an entity, a thought, a conciousness. 

She was a human being, alive or dead, that didn't matter to her now.

But... She had to be alive. How could she be thinking this if she wasn't alive.

But it could be the Rock.

No. She wasn't going let herself,  _herself,_  think that. This was her own thoughts. These were her own thoughts. She was her own person again. 

She was Jemma Simmons again.

She was Jemma Simmons. 

She  _was_ Jemma Simmons.

***

One minute left. 

He stood up, wondering why he ever sat down with only two minutes and walked over to the box, and put his hand on the glass this time, though this time it wasn't to beg and to plead to the rock. 

It was to save her.

***

She would have laughed if she could have, at being trapped in here.

It was like the Captain America Experience. 

She wasn't sure how Coulson would react to that.

Would he be angry? Angry that she had been this careless. Angry that she'd caused this to the team. 

Angry that she'd left Fitz without an explanation.

Again.

Or would he be jealous? Probably not, but maybe, just maybe that voice deep inside your mind, that seemed to have a mind of its own, would whisper that connection to him. And he'd shake it off initially. But when he went to bed that night, or maybe when he had a free moment a week later, he'd let himself think about it. And spot that connection again. And be jealous of her.

***

30 seconds now.

He took a shuddering breath, closed his eyes. If he failed now, he'd have to wait another 36 hours to do this.

15 seconds now.

He opened his eyes, and let out a breath, the one he didn't know that he holding.

10 seconds.

***

The Rock started to melt all around her. She hated this part. It felt as though the Rock were destroying her and as it reformed, slowly reconstructing her.

But this time, it didn't happen.

Opposed to melting in such a small space the Rock in its liquid form stretched out. Sliding across the floor. Just like it had when it had first taken her in.

***

His plan was beginning to work. The liquid rushed across the floor and then pulled back, and in the mess of grey-black was a figure, curled up in a foetal position. 

He ran over to it, as the liquid peeled itself off her, depositing her like a child throwing away an unwanted toy in a fit of rage. It was... It was Jemma.

He knelt down beside her, pulling her into his lap and hoping to see into those brown eyes of hers, always full of life, always sparkling, always so full of excitement.

But now they were so full of sadness, of pain, and of something he couldn't recognise. And he wasn't sure he wanted to recognise.

He called her name, over and over and over again, but she wasn't listening, just staring at the ceiling, her mouth moving silently.

And when she finally caught his eyes, those eyes that were so blue, she screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and Marvel owns all


	4. Chapter Four

That's how Coulson found them. Fitz on the ground trying to comfort a screaming Jemma and May was not long into the room after them,

And she looked annoyed but seemed able to push that aside because there were more pressing matters that needed to be dealt with. 

"I saved her," was all Fitz could say. "I saved her."

Coulson, well he had no words. Yes he was more than glad at what the engineer had done. But he had taken a risk. This could have gone horribly wrong. Painfully wrong.

Jemma Simmons was alive. But at what cost?

There were consequences to everything, especially involving anything alien. He was in fact living with one of those consequences. But that didn't matter. All that mattered at this moment was Jemma.

She was starting to come around, stopping screaming. She looked at Fitz, properly looked and smiled. "Fitz," was all she could say to him, barely audible, voice hoarse from screaming. "You saved me."

"Course I did, Jems," he said, tears of joy streaming down his face.

"I'm sorry," she said next, a quizzical expression on her face.

"For what, Jems? For what?"

May and Coulson stood back for this, letting them have the reunion that they had been so forcefully denied for all this time. Letting them get their happy ending, their fairy tale ending (but they only existed in fairy tales, and not real life. Didn't they?)

"You should have called be back months ago Coulson," May hissed in his ear.

Coulson shook his head. "May, you need that vacation. You needed a chance to relax."

"You could have at least called! You could have at least let me know that one of our team was missing!"

"This doesn't matter now, Melinda."

She was taken back by the use of her first name. It seemed like Coulson was trying to be friendly, trying to make it seem like he had everything together. It was almost an apology in a sense. 

May rolled her eyes, knowing that he couldn't see her, but she still got some personal satisfaction out of it. "We'll talk about this later." And Coulson knew better than to say no to May.

"I missed dinner," Jemma said, Fitz continuing to stroke her hair and wiped away the tears that were starting to stream down her face. "Could we still make it? What time are the reservations for?"

And that's when he realised. She must have thought that she was gone for a number of hours at the most.

"Jemma," he began, a trace of seriousness now lacing his voice. "How long do you think you've been gone?"

She sat up now, looking him in the eye, panicking. She was panicking. She knew that. "Why?" she asked, wanting to know the truth, wanting to know that everything is would be fine. 

He shook his head, as if to reassure her but it didn't. "Please Jems, just answer me. How long do you honestly think that you've been gone."

She shook her head now. "At first I thought it was days, weeks, a long time. I'm not sure. Time moves in that Rock weird. It's endless. It drags out. Never ending. But... Now I'm here... It couldn't have been more than two hours."

Fitz took a shuddering breath. "It's been five months. Jemma, you've been missing nearly half a year."

She violently denied this, protesting and saying that it wasn't possible but once glance from Coulson over Fitz's shoulder, who nodded confirmed her worst fear. And she stared at Fitz. His stubble. It was more prominent. Like he couldn't be bothered fully shaving. And that's what cemented it for her. That couldn't happen in a number of hours, no. But five months, yes. Yes it could have.

He pulled her in close, cradling her as she cried into his shoulder, and he whispered reassurances into her ear, that she hadn't missed dinner, that he had simply postponed it. That he was waiting her.

"She needs to go to quarantine." May.

Fitz looked up at her. Shaking his head. "She can't. She's just back. She can't. I can't lose her again."

"You know the protocol, Fitz, she has to go. We don't know what that alien thing did to her. We need to make sure she's Ok." She was being stern, following protocol but also friendly. She had suffered, and she knew that he was suffering. She was trying to help him through this. 

He looked at Jemma, sighed and said, "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "I know protocol." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks very much for reading and Marvel owns all


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I had a lot of exams and have only had time to continue this now.

They took many blood samples. They performed many tests, all of which amounted to Jemma not being able to rest. It took 5 hours before she had the chance to sleep. And when she did, Fitz stood on the other side of the glass, watching the rise and fall of her chest when he felt a presence behind him. Skye. She'd crept up on him. 

"She's going to be fine, let her rest."

But he didn't want to leave her. He'd just gotten her back.

"Fitz, she needs rest, you'll be back before she awakens. She's been sedated." 

Fitz looked at her. "They sedated her?" he asked, confused as to why they had did this.

"She was screaming when she was out of the Stone, they're scared she's gonna..." Skye trailed off, not wanting to finish.

"Scared she'll what?" Fitz asked, wanting to know what Skye was going to say.

Skye looked down at her feet, scuffing them on the ground, almost as if she were ashamed of what she were about to say. "They just did, to protect her."

"Protect her from what?" Fitz demanded. "What could possibly be so bad that she'd need sedation?" And as soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them.

"She was pulled screaming," Skye began and he wanted to correct her, but he didn't, he kept quiet. She wasn't screaming when she was pulled from the Stone, that's what Coulson and May were saying, however and he didn't want to correct them. The truth, was much worse. She started to scream when her eyes meet his.

Had something about his eyes triggered that reaction from her?

But she'd stopped when he'd repeated "I saved her" over and over. Was the screaming just a reaction to being back in the real world. He shook his head, forgetting that Skye was actually there, too busy being lost in his own world. "Why?" was all that he could say after that, after being lost in his memories, and it was barely audible.

"They're scared in case she dreams something, in case she has terrors."

Fitz nodded slowly, understanding, understanding that they wanted to protect her, but he still didn't agree with it. What happens if the sedative reacted with her? What happens if it made her worse?

"Fitz, she's going to be fine," Skye said, though there was something about her tone that made him unsure. Was she truly convinced that Jemma was going to be OK?

He nodded slowly, "Yeah," he elongated the word, trying to reassure himself but when did anything ever turn out OK? Especially when something alien was involved? And when that alien thing, you knew nothing about, that, that there was a new kind of scary.

Skye sighed, "Coulson wants to speak to you," she began. "About Jemma."

Fitz nodded, had one last look at Jemma, trying to drag out the moment, but also wanting to go to Coulson, to find out more news about her.

"But it's not going to be good," Skye muttered under her breath as he walked away. She didn't know what Coulson had to say, but what ever it was, it couldn't be good.

***

"No," Fitz said as he looked at the results from her medical tests. They were just starting to come in. But what he saw wasn't good. Her whole DNA was the same, something he _wasn't_ expecting, in fact he was expecting the complete opposite. He was expecting it to be changed beyond recognition. But it was what she'd said to Andrew Garner that'd upset him.

She said she saw everything. Every birth and every death, that has happened, that has yet to happen and that is happening. Not just in this universe, but in every universe. She saw the timeline of the Universe, the way that it was meant to unfold and all the possibilities that could happen, spidering of the main timeline, billions upon billions upon billions of possible events to take place in the universe. Universes.

And she, Jemma Simmons, had it all in her head.

All that information. How she held it, the secrets of the universes, the past, the present and the future, was... he didn't know where to begin with it. And each of them, the past, the present and the future, each had all those billion possibilities of how it could have or could turn out. 

And she held all that in her head.

It was so much inform, too much information, for some one, one single person, to hold in their head.

(And he didn't even want to consider the possibility that this was some great plan that the Rock had for her, that this was the reason the Rock had chosen her. If it had chosen her, and this, her whole disappearance was just some freak accident)

That's when he heard the scream.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the wait, and again Marvel owns all.  
> 


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the kudos, comments, hits and subscribers, I never expected this to be so popular and you guys make me so happy! Thanks so much!

Her screams rang through the whole base, and Fitz ran through the base, trying to reach her. Wanting to help her. Wanting to take the pain away from her. When he got to the quarantine, he rushed right in, ignoring protocol. And he found her, still on the bed, which surprised him, he thought that she wouldn't be on the bed, her back pushed against the wall, as if she were trying to force herself through it, and knees drawn up to her chest, head buried in them.

The doctor in charge just watched, a look of helplessness on his face.

"Jems?" Fitz asked, as he sat down on the edge of the bed but still she didn't raise her head. "Jems?" he asked again, though he had a clear idea of what was wrong. Coulson had just explained what the Rock had done to her and now it was showing. Fitz didn't want to hurt her to cause her pain, hell the girl had the whole Universe in her head. That had to hurt. "Jems?" This was paining him, seeing the woman he loved in so much pain.

She looked up, slowly, pain etched on her face. She had stopped screaming by this point, and was now trying to get her breathing under control. Her eyes were sunken into her face, a result of the tears streaming down her face. Her cheeks looked hollow, he noted. He missed it before, too concerned with everything else. Just how bad was being in that Rock? And why did she, Jemma Simmons, of all people have suffer that? She had the kindest heart, always putting others before herself, even if it hurt her. "Leo," she whispered, and he took his as an invitation to move slightly closer to her, but not enough so that they were touching. "Hurts," was all she could gasp and she meet his eyes. That's when he moved closer to her, shoulders now touching and she lay down her head on his shoulder.

"I see everything Leo," she muttered, sounding bitter. Yes, he would have admitted that being able to tell the future would be interesting (and if he did ever possess that ability he would also have admitted he would have went to Las Vegas) but after HYDRA and now, _especially_ now, after seeing her in so much pain, seeing the future seemed to be more of a burden than a gift. One that, if he had the chance, he would carry for her. 

And what hurt him, what caused him more pain on top of all this was he didn't know how to comfort her. He didn't even know where to begin. He didn't want to give her false sympathy, telling her it was going to be all right because, and he really hated to admit this, it wasn't. Nothing was going to be all right for a long time.

So he just let her lie there, sobbing softly into his shoulder as he stroked her hair, and lay his chin atop her head, reassuring her by not being a voice, but by being a presence.

***

Skye watched this scene from the door, sick to her stomach. Sick that someone like Jemma could be subjected to something so horrible. Coulson had told her all that had happened with Fitz in the office, what the effects of this were.

And she was sick at what Jemma was going through. Even she couldn't cope with this, and she wasn't human. And that raised questions for Skye. Questions she was scared to ask, and scared to know the answer to.

Footsteps echoed behind her, drawing her out of her thoughts, she spun and found Hunter standing behind her. He raised an eyebrow, not wanting to say anything, also scared to raise questions, scared for their answers.

"Fitz is there with her. We should leave them."

Hunter was speechless, a seldom occurrence, and he nodded. 

As he and Skye walked down the corridor, towards the main recreation area, he dared to ask a question. "Did Coulson tell you what's wrong with her?"

Skye nodded. "Yeah..." she trailed off, still trying to contemplate how one woman could have the knowledge of the universe, of galaxies in her head. "Yeah, he briefed me after she started...After he briefed Fitz. When did you..."

She didn't need to finish the question for Hunter to understand where she was coming from. "I over heard him and May talking about it earlier, after the results came in. And after he briefed you I suppose, but I missed the rest of that conversation, because she.... Anyway, Bobbi was being briefed and I was there with her. And then I took off. I wanted to see if I could do anything but I feel so..."

"Helpless," Skye offered, and she was right, her best friend, her sister, was suffering and their was nothing she could do to help. There was nothing she could do to take away the pain. She wanted to. She wanted to so badly, but there was nothing that she could do. And that hurt her.  

"I just..." Skye tried, wanting to say something, but not knowing what to say. She wanted to help, feeling helpless made her feel weak and hated that feeling. 

"I know," Lance said. 

***

Bobbi was being cleared for active field duty tomorrow, five months after... After Ward and Kara. She shuddered at any thought or mention of them. What they had put her through.

And it had also been five since Jemma went missing, five months since Fitz... Five months since she had seen a personality change in him, like nothing she had ever seen before. And with Jemma back, she wondered what would happen next. She wondered would anything ever be the same for them.

She shook that though from her head, and left the Medical Bay. She hated being stuck there and was glad to get out. She saw Skye and Hunter heading down the corridor, towards the recreation room and asked one simple question, one word long. "How?"

Hunter shook his head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marvel owns all.  
> 


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone for all the support. All hits, kudos and comments make me smile and I love hearing feedback. So many thanks.

She was released from quarantine two weeks later, once they realised that there was nothing else wrong with her. Fitz had been briefed by Coulson not to go back into quarantine. It was dangerous and foolish what he had did. And Coulson wasn't listening to anything he was protesting. All he got was a warning.

So he spent the next two weeks sitting outside with her, only taking one hour breaks every six hours, to be replaces with someone else on the team, usually Bobbi or Skye. May took shifts every other night, so as he could get sleep. No that he could sleep anyway. Not that anyone could sleep on base. 

She screamed most nights from the dreams. The terrors, and nothing they could give her, nothing they have, was powerful enough to prevent the nightmares. And he wanted to take the pain away from her, but he couldn't so he was doing the next best thing; being there for her.

She spend most of the day talking to him, trying to keep her mind of the Galaxy in her head. But it wasn't easy. Waves of dizziness crept over her, washing over her and making her want to sleep, and on three occasions, causing her to black out altogether. 

And the rest of the time, she spent curled up, knees drawn to her chest, hands covering her ears and arms blocking her face as she tried to ignore the pain, but couldn't. It was times like these when Fitz, on the other side of the glass, simply picked up the tablet and let her be. He was no help when she was like this, and she didn't want to talk to anyone when she was like this. She once screamed at Skye, who happened to be watching her once. It came over her suddenly and she couldn't control it. And Skye simply left, letting the other girl be.

Was she offended? Upset? Yes. But she didn't let it show. She knew Jemma was suffering, and lashing out was a way of coping, and Skye happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Fitz came and found her pressed up against the wall of quarantine, her chest heaving and tears streaking her face. She was inconsolable and Fitz couldn't, wasn't, allowed in to help her, comfort her. So he pressed his hand up against the glass, and she did the same after what felt like forever, but was really half an hour.

Those two weeks were hard on everyone and they were all thankful when she was finally able to get out.

Skye brought her her clothes, not the mandatory nightgown she had to wear and when she put them on, a simply blouse and sweatpants, she realised just how much weight she had lost. The bottoms hung lose around her legs, the only thing keeping them on her was the elastic waist and the blouse hung on her.

She made her way to the recreation room where everyone else was, the floor cold beneath her feet but also soothing and she opened the door tentatively, shuddering as it creaked open and everyone's' eyes fell on her. She stood nervously in the door before Fitz got up and wrapped her in a hug, whispering in her ear. 

She buried her head into his chest and nodded. Tears were making there way down her face but these weren't tears of sadness, well they weren't completely sad. Joy was also thrown in. He kissed the top of her head and murmured three words he had been meaning to say for years. 

She nodded, unable to say anything else but feeling the same. 

He gently broke the embrace and looked at her, asking a question with a look. A slight movement of her head was all that he needed to turn around and stutter, "She... We're going..."

May smiled at them, something that was uncommon, but there was a knowing glint in her eye, one that only Fitz picked up but he shot her a look. 

Once the two scientists where safely out of earshot, Skye elbowed Hunter. He elbowed her back. 

Bobbi just rolled her eyes. They were secret agents and yet everyone in the room knew about their bet. Their stupid bet. One that was obviously going to put Hunter out of $50.

***

They went to his room. He couldn't bear hers. It was too clean, everything having been packed in boxes. About to be sent home to her parents. They though her dead and where going to tell her parents. But he had begged for more time. They gave him six months, and she had came back after five. But no one had been in there the past two weeks, except Skye to get her clothes, so there was probably now clothes thrown everywhere.

They were alone together, for the first time in five months.

"We missed our date," she whispered, sitting down on his bed, back against the wall. 

"I know." He sat down beside her and her head instinctively found his shoulder and she closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, rubbing hers with the movement as he did so. "You did nothing wrong."

She lifted it and looked him in the eyes, those blue eyes she knew so much better than her own. Those blue eyes that where her world, that meant everything to her. "I did everything wrong."

He realised then what she was saying. "No, Jemma. You did nothing wrong. And don't you think you did."

Tears leaked out of her eyes. "I did everything wrong Fitz. And I can't take it back."

Her head dipped and he lifted it so their eyes were once more meeting. "You did nothing wrong."

And their lips met.

***

When they were sleeping, they fitted it together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Or they did for part of the night, up until they both became restless, limbs sprawling everywhere. Becoming intertwined, becoming one entity, because that's what they where, one entity. 

When he woke up the next morning, duvet wrapped around one leg only, he realised that she hadn't woken up in the middle of the night screaming, she hadn't had nightmares. A smile crossed his face and as he rolled over to face her, he found her...

Gone.

She wasn't there. But he wasn't worried. She was probably in the bathroom, or getting breakfast. She always was a lighter sleeper compared to him.

Skye then came charging through his door, without even bothering to knock, a swear escaping his mouth as he pulled the duvet up around him.

He didn't have time to even ask her why she was charging through his door without knocking as Skye, panting, said only three words. Three words that struck fear into his very core, turned his heart icy.

"Jemma. She's gone." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. That ending. But don't worry. I've it all planned out and it's part of something bigger (and hopefully better) to come.  
> Marvel owns all  
> 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the ending of the last chapter but all will be revealed... There is a mention of drug use.

"Jemma. She's gone."

Fitz rubbed his eyes, confused. "Gone?"

Skye nodded. "She walked out of base about three hours ago. She disabled all security systems. We don't know how. I made them. They're a nightmare to get through."

"But she's gone." Fitz was now sitting up and pulling a hoodie on and a pair of jeans. He was going to go out and find her. And nothing was going to stop him. 

"But there was something wrong with her. Seriously wrong."

Fiz paused. "What?"

"She went out in that nightgown, and her bare feet."

"In November?"

"Yeah. We need to find her. As soon as the footage became available, ten minutes ago, Hunter and Bobbi left. Hoping to find her. When you're ready, we're leaving with May."

***

She was cold. She was wet. She was hungry. But she had to save Her. She had to save Her. Her couldn't leave Her child motherless. The child needed Her. She had to save Her. So that's what she was supposed to do.

***

In the back of the SUV, Skye had managed to hack into the CCTV, and was looking for Jemma, multiple images flashing up on screen when all of a sudden...

"High Street. Ten minutes ago. She was seen. She..." Skye gasped. "She saved someone's life."

May turned the wheel, forcing the car towards High Street, when they got caught in a tailback. 

Fitz, already out of the car, was half way down the road before May and Skye had even gotten out of the car. Chasing him.

***

She had saved Her. She had changed the future. But at what cost. She had stumbled in front of Her. Preventing Her from crossing the road. And by doing this, she had stopped Her from being hit by the car that had sped through the lights. The car eventually swerved if the road, hitting a lamp post, but she hadn't seen that. She was now curled up in the alley, the future rewriting itself in her head.

And it hurt. It was like a fire was burning in her skull. It was hurting her so much. She closed her eyes in an attempt to block out the pain but it wasn't working. 

There was too much stimulus around her. Sirens. People shouting. Her wanting to know where the woman who had saved Her life went. 

But she wasn't going to leave. She was just going to lie here, and hope that the pain would fade.

***

Fitz managed to get through the crowds, pushing past the noise and the people and called out her name. He looked at all the faces and wondered whether she would be there, having saved this woman's life or would she be hiding. Or would she have ran away.

He didn't know but to his right, there was an alley and he thought he was best to try down there. 

He called her name as he walked down, but there was no reply. He was just about to leave when he heard muffled sobs. Her sobs (and he hated how he knew they were hers, he had heard them so much that they had become imprinted in his mind).

"Jems?" he asked, cautiously. And when he looked behind the dumpster, he found her curled in on herself, eyes squeezed shut and tears making their way down her face.

***

It took time before May and Skye managed to get through the crowd and bring the car up, and in this time she had gotten worse. As she lay against him, a slight moan of pain escaping her lips, she tried to lift her head to get more comfortable, but she couldn't, causing him to shift.

He stroked her hair, muttering reassurances. He was trying to hold it together, trying not to cry himself. He had to help her. If he was crying, what use would he be to her?

His gut gave a sudden twist as he realised why she might be in pain, why she might she suffering. She saw the future, and all its possibilities. And she had changed that, by saving a single life.

And now the future was re mapping itself in her head, and all its possibilities. All the billions and billions and billions of possibilities.

He held her closer as she let out a cry of pure anguish.

***

Getting her to the car proved to be more difficult than he first thought. People kept staring as he placed her in the car, having previously carried her down the alley to the SUV.

And he knew why. That alley had a reputation in the local community for drug use. 

So he was glad once he got her in the car. He climbed into the  backseat next to her,gently placing her head in his lap and May sped back to base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the ending of this one. It will be angsty for a few chapters but I've it all planned out and how I'm ending it.  
> Thanks for all the support and for reading.  
> Marvel owns all.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support and look at this... Two Chapters in Two days!

Hunter and Bobbi were already back at base when Fitz carried her in, asleep (or unconscious, he didn't know) in his arms. 

"Is she?" Hunter asked, not wanting to know the answer. Scared. There was fear in his eyes, something that Bobbi had only seen twice in her life (and something she never wanted to see again).

Fitz shook his head. "Too much stimulus. She needs rest."

Bobbi nodded. "Skye phoned. We've taken all the boxes out of her room. Lights off. Let her sleep it off in there."

Fitz was already half way down the corridor to her room when Skye caught up. "She's going to be out for a while, Fitz. You know that right?"

He nodded. Of course he knew this, why wouldn't he? He just hoped that she was better when she was awake.

***

It felt like the Universe was exploding in her mind. Exploding and rebuilding itself. But in a sense, wasn't this what was actually happening? She had changed the future. And she shouldn't have (but she wanted to save Her) and now she was paying for it. She had messed with the natural order, the natural balance.

The balance that was changing inside her mind, realigning itself. 

And she was just going to have to suffer through the consequences of her actions.

***

The darkness seemed to be helping her, at least that's what Fitz thought. She had been in her room three days now, sleeping. No one, not even him, had entered the room to check on her. They thought it best to leave her be.

On the fourth night, Fitz was in the recreation room, playing one of the video games with Mack. Mack had suggested it, to take him mind of Jemma, but it was barely working. He was worried about her, wondering how much pain she could be in.

Meanwhile, behind them Hunter and Skye were attempting to play Ping-Pong; attempting being the key word in this statement.

"You're not supposed to hit the ceiling!" Hunter shouted at Skye, as she scored yet another point against him. "It's Table Tennis for a reason! Not roof tennis!"

Skye just laughed, settling down her paddle as Hunter chased the small, white ball across the room, rolling away from him each time he got close to it.

"It's not funny!" He protested.

"It kinda is," Bobbi commented, looking up from the magazine that she was reading. 

"No, no it's not!" By this point Lance had finally caught the ball, and was stomping back to the table. "She's cheating."

"How?" Skye asked, as innocent as she could, batting her eyelashes.

Hunter stammered, unsure of what to say next. 

Bobbi set down her magazine and asked, "Was it because she used her powers to force the ball away from you just there, causing it to roll into the corner. As I'm pretty sure that's not part of the actual game, Hunter?"

Skye looked indignant at this. "Me? Use my powers for something as stupid as that?" She shook her head. "I'd never do something as petty as that!"

Mack pause the game and looked over the back of the couch. "We all know you did it."

Soon they were all joking about the rules of Ping Pong and whether or not powers should be used in sports.

But Fitz remained silence, staring absentmindedly at the screen. "You OK Turbo?" Mack asked, but Fitz nodded, even though he wasn't. But he supposed the whole team knew that. "Yeah..." he stood up. "Yeah, I'm just going to get..."

Mack nodded and Skye gave him a sad smile as he walked of to the kitchen.

***

"You do know who she saved." It was a demand from May that made Coulson look up from his files; Jemma's medical ones. They were getting more complicated. He set them down and shook his head.

"It was Laura. Laura Barton."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, Marvel owns all.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my most popular story and I just want to say thanks to everyone who has supported me. I couldn't have done it without you. This chapter is probably longer than the other. Thanks so much again and hope you enjoy.

Coulson looked at her, for how long, he didn't know.

"As in Clint's wife?" 

A nod from May. This would change everything yet again, just when they were starting to understand what was happening.

"And she was supposed to be killed today?"

"It seems like it," May said, reaching for the medical files and tucking them under her arm. "She must have wanted to see what happens if you change the future, save a life."

Coulson took a deep breath. Changing the future had failed. It caused pain and suffering. And now Clint and Laura were involved in this. And they both thought him dead.

"You do know that they will want to see her, to speak to her."

Coulson nodded slowly. "When she's better, and only if she's up for it."

May nodded, a look in her eyes told Coulson that she had a plan. "He still has that farmhouse of his."

***

There was so much to change. So much happening and that would happen. Saving one life, didn't simply alter the path that the Universe was destined to follow, it caused many alternative realities. Many alternative realities that could have happened, and each of them had alternative realities. Each choice could be small like the fluttering of a butterfly's wings and have consequences as powerful as a hurricane.

The Universe was such a strange place, she thought. Or was she dreaming? She wasn't sure. She was in a sea of black; was she back in the Kree Rock? The very vessel that had bestowed her with these _gifts._ She couldn't be. Fitz had been there. Fitz. He had been there for her, was there for her. 

But what was this sea of black she found herself in as the Universe rearranged itself in her mind?

Was she back in there? She had to be, it was the only thing that made sense. They had discovered that the process in the Stone hadn't completed when she was last in there. That it hadn't finished changing her, finished moulding her to it's design.

Finished making her the goddess it said she was destined to be.

But she didn't want any of that. 

She wanted very little in this life. Yes, she had wanted knowledge. She craved it as a child. Craved it as a teenage. Craved it as an adult. But now, now she didn't want it. Knowledge was a gift but it was also burden. A heavy weight that shouldn't be carried by one person.

Too little knowledge was dangerous but too much knowledge was also dangerous. She always had wanted more, and now that the Universe had granted her this wish, she didn't want it any more. She wanted to give it back.

The blackness continued to engulf her.

***

Fitz was in the lab. He didn't want to enter her room, couldn't enter the room until she came out. Not until she was able to handle everything that was happening; the noise, the lights, the stimulus.

She had went into her room two weeks ago, and she still hadn't reappeared. He was worrying about her now. More than he had been and Fitz hadn't thought that possible.

Coulson had said to give it to the end of the week, and if nothing had happened by then, then they would do something to help, even if it meant contacting Asgard.  

He was working in the lab, on new cloaking technology. Skye and Lincoln had made contact with a group of new Inhumans, who had yet to get a grasp on their powers and had offered to train them up. 

And they needed the technology to not only help these Inhumans, and any other they may find. But they needed it for going out into the field. The world was still dubious about S.H.I.E.L.D., even more so about 'powered people'.

And with Ward now starting his own ragtag team of HYDRA agents; or was he reforming HYDRA? Fitz didn't know, and even though he probably should have, he didn't care either. Ward, as much pain as he had caused, wasn't the main concern of Fitz at the moment, his pain concern was...

That's when he heard it, the bloodcurdling screech, something that sounded like it should never come from a human being, echoed all around the base.

Jemma.

***

Everyone heard it, who wouldn't? The scream echoed the whole way around the base drowning out all conversation. Head immediately snapped to the direction of the rooms, everyone on base knowing who it was.

Fitz raced through the corridors, in a bid to get to her, to comfort her, to help her in anyway he could. 

He flung open her door, finding her awake, probably for the first time in two weeks, huddled in the corner of the room. Her knees were drawn up and tears streamed down her pale face.

"Jems?" he asked cautiously, standing in the doorway. She looked up at him and relief seemed to spread across her face.

He walked over and knelt down beside her and she buried her face in the shoulder. She had stopped screaming once he entered the room, her voice weak. She had stopped screaming before he even asked that one word question. That one word that was powerful and held so much meaning. 

She was muttering something, and in all honesty, he was surprised that she could still speak. Surprised that her vocal cords were still able to function.

"Fitz?" She looked up, her brown eyes, full of worry and fear instead of life and excitement, stared into his own blue ones.

"Yeah?" he asked, gently rocking back and forth with her, soothing her, comforting her. 

"Promise me you'll never give me to that Rock?"

"What? No, never?"

She looked unconvinced. "Promise me!"

He nodded. "I promise. You'll always be safe with me. I swear."

She nodded, burying her face into his shirt more, soaking it with her tears. She didn't want to elaborate on what had worried her so much, had caused her so much fear.

Had caused her to ask that question.

So he didn't pressure her.

She would open up and explain in her own time, when she was ready.

***

Coulson looked at the phone. May had given him an idea. But was he prepared to risk it. He knew his secret could be kept but he was still cautious over it.

This would help her, it would allow her to be able to relax and get away from the hustle and bustle of the agency for however long she desired. And Fitz would want to go with her.

Could he afford to lose the engineer?

Fitz would maybe, _just maybe_ , work while away, but his main priority, as it was at this moment was Jemma.

It was always her. 

He shook his head. It wouldn't matter. There were others who were qualified to take the Scot's role (but not as qualified as him, muttered the voice in the back of his mind, that voice that you couldn't seem to control, that voice that seemed as if it had a mind of its own).

He wasn't going to let that stop him, he finally decided.

He picked up the phone and dialled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The section that references both Butterflies and Hurricanes is a reference to the Butterfly Effect of the chaos theory, and it means that something as simple and seemingly meaningless as the beating of a butterfly's wings, could in turn lead to major consequences, such as those that affect humanity in a major way, eg the Hurricane. Also it's a MUSE song that I love due to the lyrics and the music of it, and also MUSE.  
> As usual Marvel owns all.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the continued support. You guys are the best and I wouldn't be able to do it without you. Enjoy this slightly longer chapter!

It had been two weeks since Jemma had saved Laura Barton's life. Two weeks since everything had changed again. She had left her room, and was interacting more and more with the team, though she was still withdrawn and reserved, keeping to herself whenever she could.

One Thursday afternoon, close to the end of November, she was sitting, staring at the blank white wall that was in front of her.

"Jems?" Fitz asked, sitting down beside her, wondering what she was looking at. "What you looking at?"

She was unblinking, staring straight ahead. "Rabbit in a snowstorm."

Fitz was confused, extremely confused. There was nothing there, nothing except a white wall. "It's just white wall."

Jemma turned to face him, her eyes wide. "That's the beauty of art. That anything can be art. That wall. Rabbit in a snowstorm. The rabbit is white. The snow is white. You can't see it. You can't see anything. But that's the beauty of it. It's there."

Fitz nodded, understanding what she meant, but he didn't really know why she thought that this wall, this concrete thing covered in white paint could be classed as art. 

"Coulson wants to speak to you."

Her eyes glazed over. She knew what Coulson wanted. She always did. She always knew when people wanted her, and what they would say to her. She always knew and she hated that she did. Everyone always looked at her differently. They looked at her like they couldn't trust her. 

She hated that.

"Come with me?" Jemma asked after some silence. 

Fitz nodded. "Yeah."

He stood up and extended a hand to help her up. 

She smiled up at him, her eyes happy for the first time in months, maybe even a year. He didn't know. He didn't know when the last time her eyes were full of that much joy. And that worried him. That was one of the first things he had noticed about her. One of the things that he had loved about her. 

Her excitement and curiosity to explore, and investigate, the world around her. Something that had been ripped from her after so many things had happened to her.

The Virus.

HYDRA.

Ward.

They had taken that from her. Made her lose herself. And he hated that. He wanted her to retain that eternal optimism that she had, but she lost it somewhere along the line. Maybe she hadn't lost it all at once. Maybe she had lost it slowly, gradually over a period of time. So gradually that no one had noticed that that light, that joy was fading, being extinguished, until it had been fully extinguished, and had little chance of being reignited.

But something had reignited that excitement, causing it to grow in her eyes.

And as they walked to Coulson's office, he couldn't help but wonder what Coulson was going to say to them. She knew. Jemma always knew. 

It must have been good. Or would be good. He still hadn't got his head around this whole thing yet.

She was happy, and that was all that mattered to him.

That Jemma was happy.

Once in Coulson's office, they both sat down in front of his desk.

"I've booked Jemma sometime off," he said more to Fitz than to her. She wasn't even paying attention, she didn't need to. She was, instead, staring down at her own feet.

"Why?" Fitz asked. He knew that, yes, it would help her. But where could she go? Ward's team, it was starting to emerge from the shadows. "She can't go home."

"She wasn't going to go home anyway," was the Director's reply. "There would have been to much noise, too much stimuli. She's barely coping here at the moment."

Fitz interrupted him. "She's coping just fine."

Coulson shook his head. "She hides away all day. She turns the lights low when she enters the room."

Fitz interrupted again. "She's been affected by an alien artifact!" His voice was rising with each word. "Of course she does that stuff! She has an entire universe in her mind."

"And she's sitting right here," Jemma said, finally speaking up. "Coulson's right, I can't stay here. And I can't go home either. It's too dangerous. At least hear him out. Please Fitz."

Fitz nodded reluctantly. He also knew that he should apologise to the Director, but he wasn't going to. His gut instinct told him that he shouldn't. That the way he was treating Jemma, the way everyone was treating her since she had come out, was different. In a sense, it almost wasn't human. They were treating her like a thing more than anything else.

Coulson, having decided that it was appropriate, decided to continue. "I know someone, you'll know them too, who has a farmhouse that Jemma can spend however long she needs there, until she finds it easier to cope. She can stay there for as long as she likes, as long as she deems fit."

Fitz looked at Jemma, knowing her mind was made up. There would be no talking her out of this. Once her mind was made up, it was damn near impossible to make her change it.

"He is right, Fitz," she said again, this time facing him. She was pleading. Begging him to understand. But he couldn't understand, would never understand what he was going through. He hated himself for that. He wanted to help. Wanted to help so badly, so that she wouldn't have to suffer alone.

But she did. And she would. No one would ever understand what she was going through.

"He's right. I still can't sleep at night without..."

Without the screaming, the nightmares. It had started again, that night she had first left her room, after making him make that promise. He still didn't understand it. He wanted to ask, but the one time he tried to bring it up, she didn't want to talk about it. Wouldn't talk about it.

Fitz nodded. "I don't know anyone with a farmhouse though."

Coulson smiled. "You do."

***

An argument had broken out soon after. Fitz had wanted to go, not wanting to leave Jemma alone. Coulson had said that he could go, but only for two weeks at most. He was still needed at S.H.I.E.L.D.

"And she's not?" 

Coulson regretted his choice of words immediately. "She is. She's on sick leave at the minuet."

"Did you just give it to her? Without asking her?"

"No." Anger flared in Coulson's voice. It was then that Jemma had slipped from the office and no one had seen her go. They were too busy arguing over her. That's what all conversations seemed to be about now.

Her.

She had tears streaming down her face. Their voices were too loud. She had taken refuge in the kitchen. Something about it was just homely. It always seemed to calm her down whenever she felt anxious.

Someone, however, had crept into the kitchen when her back was turned and scared her. She spun, throwing the mug in her hand as she did so.

Hunter, who was the person in the door, swore in response, before noticing who had thrown the mug in the first place. "Sorry."

She shook her head. "My fault. I threw the mug."

"No, I scared you. Shouldn't have." Hunter did care for her. He considered a sister, even though they hardly knew each other. And he really wanted to change that. He looked behind him, at the shattered remains of the mug. "You've a good shot."

Jemma smiled.

***

The next day, May took them in a QuinJet to the residence in which they would be spending the next number of weeks. Coulson had finally give in and let Fitz stay with Jemma for however long she needed. May had told him that it would be better. That she would cope better with him there. 

And Fitz would hardly work with her gone. He had been separated from her so many times now that May had said that it wasn't best if they were separated once more. She seemed to be coping better with him and why should that be presented. 

The farmhouse, indeed, was in the middle of nowhere. No traffic. No noise. Peace. Calm.

Just what Jemma had wanted.

And she couldn't wait to get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and Marvel owns all.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep saying it but I can't express enough just how much that all your support means to me guys. It means a lot and if it weren't for you I wouldn't be writing.

When they had landed, and exited the plane, Fitz carrying his bag over his shoulder and May carrying Jemma's, relief seemed to wash over the younger woman. She seemed more peaceful, more at ease here. A smile swept across her face as she took in her surroundings. 

"It's happy here," she said, turning to face Fitz.

He nodded in response. He could just tell be her posture, the way she was presenting herself, the tone of her voice, that here (wherever here was) was going to help her. Help her adjust back to life, back to a sense of normality. 

Because, and Fitz was being honest with himself here, nothing would ever be normal again. He nodded again, unable to keep the smile of his face.

She was happy again, and that's all that mattered.

***

May had taken her bag into the farmhouse, and was greeted by Laura.

"You know Clint's still mad at Coulson for his stunt."

May shrugged. "Colson was mad at Coulson for it as well."

Laura shrugged, as May slung the bag of her shoulder and set it down. "How's the girl?"

May shook her head, so slightly that it was almost unnoticeable. "She was fine on the plane here, but she can take turns for the worse unexpectedly. Just, don't bring up the accident unless she mentions it first."

Laura nodded as a young girl ran up and latched onto her leg. "Daddy let me name the new chicks!"

Both Laura and May smiled down at the girl but the young girl just looked up at May, obviously confused by who this new woman in her house was.

"Are you Jemma?" the young girl, Lila, asked. 

May shook her head. "No, I'm May. Jemma's friend."

"Do you know Auntie Nat?"

May nodded this time. "Yeah. I know your Auntie Nat."

Lila smiled up at her. "Auntie Nat is great."

May smiled down at the young girl. "Auntie Nat is great."

***

Jemma made her way slowly to the house, her hand in Fitz's. Lately, she craved physical contact more than anything. To show that she was real. That she was alive. That she was not trapped in that sea of black. 

"Did Coulson tell you who owns it?" she asked, her head finding his shoulder.

Fitz shook his head, "Me and Coulson didn't part on the best of terms." But she knew this. She knew everything. She was trying to make everything seem normal, to make conversation as if nothing were different. But it was hard. It was hard. She knew everything, what would be said next, so was there any real need for conversation.

Yes. There was. There was a need for everything. There was a reason Jemma did this, he thought. She did this to feel human, to fit in.To feel as though nothing had happened. To feel as if she belonged. 

Jemma looked up at him, giving him a knowing smile. "You going to tell me?" he asked her, to which her reply was a shake of her head, but not after looking like she was considering it. 

He just kissed the top of her forehead.

"I love you," he murmured into her hair, savouring the smell of apples that had radiated from it. Skye had helped her wash it in the shower the night before. 

"More than anything," was her reply, before she turned so as her lips met his.

His bag fell from his shoulder, falling into the freshly cut grass. 

His arms wrapped around her back, holding her tight, proving her that comfort she so craved.

Her hands, meanwhile, were buried in his curls, feeling the hair between her fingers.

They broke apart, just to breath, look at each other and giggle before continuing. Compared to their first kiss, which felt like it had occurred many months ago, when really it was only just over a fortnight, was nothing like this. 

That first kiss was gentle, loving. Kind. A first kiss between two people who had loved each other for years and wanted to show that they cared, that they wanted the first kiss to be perfect. It was tender, loving.

This kiss (or kisses, as would be more appropriate) was full of passion, of desire. Of those two friends who had been friends for years but now wanted something more. Something passionate, some exciting. 

He gently removed his lips, and made his way down her neck, and back up, heading towards her ear, before murmuring into that they would continue this later, and they shouldn't keep their hosts waiting.

***

Out of everyone who owned a farmhouse he could possibly visit, and he knew, Clint Barton was the person who was at the very bottom of the list (Well, there were others below him but he was still pretty low).

After introductions were all dealt with, Laura led there across the back yard to the small guest house that they would be staying in.

"No one ever really uses the guest house, we just have it as Clint has some obsession with house projects, but it was a small living area, two bedrooms, each with their own bathroom, and a small kitchen. Feel free to eat there or join us."

The two scientists couldn't express their thanks enough and Laura simply said it was no problem. They wanted to help.

And for that, Fitz couldn't be more thankful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting to the fluff at long last! I have about 7 chapters left or so and I want them up by the Season Three Premiere.  
> Marvel owns all as usual.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all you guys who have subscribed, commented, bookmarked and left kudos on this. You are the best ever. Thanks so much for all the support and I hope you enjoy this fluff!  
> Song lyrics in Italics are We Used to Protest/Gamble by To Kill A King. The live version is great.

"He's so cute," Jemma cooed. It was evening, and they had had their meal in the main house, still thanking their hosts.

Laura waved her hand, as if to show it didn't matter once she sat down at the table. "It's nothing," she said. "Clint has had guests round before with no forewarning."

She looked over at her husband. "That was one time," was all he replied, mouth full of Spaghetti. "One time."

Laura just rolled her eyes, while Lila and Cooper laughed at their father. 

"How old is he?" Fitz asked, watching Jemma coo over Nathaniel. She was curled up in the armchair, making the baby giggle.

"About seven months now."

"Awwww," was all Jemma said in reply. "Fitz, he's so cute." ' _I want one._ ' She didn't voice that thought aloud. It wasn't the time.

Not yet anyway.

Clint came in from the kitchen, drying his hands on a towel. "He really is. Nat still calls him a traitor."

"Who could ever think something as cute as you is a traitor?" Jemma asked the baby, smiling widely. She could see his whole future, everything that he would do. Everything that he would say. It was a good life. As much as it hurt her at the time (and it still did. She didn't tell anyone. How could she?), she was glad she saved Laura. She had to. 

"It was a Nathaniel, not a Natasha."

Jemma just shook her head, cuddling Nathaniel in close to her. "You're perfect."

Lila and Cooper ran in, shouting for their father, something about Christmas decorations. 

"It's November," Laura said, as Lila climbed into her lap. "And you still haven't finished the sun room."

"It's winter," Clint replied, "You won't be using it that much anyway. There's no sun."

Laura rolled her eyes. "But I wanted to have Christmas in there, snow on the skylights, fairy lights. The winter wonderland."

"We can have that here."

Laura wanted to list more reasons as to why she should have her sun room, one of them being that Clint was notoriously bad at doing home improvement projects.

They were good once they were finished, but that was the ting; he hardly ever finished them. There were soon many unfinished projects, due to the fact he always seemed to start a new one before the previous was finished. 

"Can we please daddy? Please! Please! Please!" Lila and Cooper begged again and again.

Clint looked as though he were considering it, something Jemma's own father had done many times. She couldn't help smile. At everything that was going on around her. It was so chaotic, but not like the base was. This was chaotic in a more peaceful sense. Not chaotic in a sense that, if something were not done, there may be a consequence of death.

Finally, Clint nodded. "Sure. Why not it's Christmas."

Laura gave another eye roll, something, Fitz thought, that was probably common here. "It's November," she said, but with a smile, as if she were excited for the holiday season as well.

Clint just shrugged, and headed out of the room, heading to the attic where the decorations were kept.

***

An hour later, after much banging and crashing in the attic, the decorations had finally made their way into the living room. Fitz had helped, even though Clint had told him it wasn't necessary (it was. Without Fitz, he would have broken his hand. Jemma kept this to herself however. Messing with time once had been enough to tell her how much of a bad idea it was). 

Lila and Cooper were searching through the cardboard boxes even before the fourth one had made its way down the stairs.

"There's not enough for everything," Laura warned, not wanting to disappoint. Her children loved Christmas, and had already wrote their lists for Santa. Laura just hoped she'd have the time to get everything that they wanted this year, not leaving out tiny objects like she had before. 

Maybe, she thought, just maybe she could. Jemma seemed happy enough with the children, able to bond with them easy enough. Especially Nathaniel. She knew that the younger woman had been affected by an alien artefact, but not how. Or why. Just what had happened. But she hadn't seen any side effects. Yet.

"Want me to put him in his cot?" she asked Jemma, who was now rocking a sleeping Nathaniel.

Jemma gave a smile and nodded. She wanted to help with the decorations, she hadn't had a Christmas like since before she went into the field. The last time had been at the apartment she and Fitz had had. And there hadn't been room for many decorations.

She knelt down next to Fitz, who was making his way through one of the boxes with Lila.

"Fairy lights," Jemma breathed. She loved those things. She had some draped around the headboard of her bed when she was younger, the bright flashing colours helping to fight away the creatures of the dark. "Could I have a set? For the room?" she asked, knowing the answer would be yes. She only asked as that was what she had to do. She had to follow the Universe order in her head, otherwise.

Otherwise it would be like what happened before; pain and the never-ending darkness. It still haunted her. 

Fitz smiled up at her, like that first mission they did together, their first time in the field. That felt so long ago now, so very long ago. And so much had changed in those two years that had passed between then and now.

"Found it!" Clint suddenly called, pulling out all the segments of Christmas tree. 

Lila gave a squeal of delight, and Cooped grinned. They had finally managed to persuade their parents to put the decorations up in November, not the first of December.

"All right, let's do this," Clint said and began to try and assemble the tree.

After three unsuccessful attempts, mostly him putting them in the wrong order, Fitz finally took over. 

"He does this every year," Laura commented as she handed Jemma a mug of hot chocolate, over flowing with cream and marshmallows. "Every year he does this, and I usually have to do this."

Jemma accepted the mug with thanks and leaned back against the edge of the sofa watching Fitz put up the tree, with Clint giving instructions that weren't in the least bit helpful. 

Jemma watched in silence, at Fitz stretching up to place the last section of tree on top, at his top riding up as he did so, so as his skin on his lower back was exposed. She watched as he turned back round and smiled at her. She smiled back up at him. 

She set down her mug and took his outstretched hand, and he pulled her up. He reached down and picked up her mug before leading her into the kitchen. 

"Wait," she said in the doorway. 

"What?" he asked, scared. He worried about Jemma. There was something in her tone that caused him to feel alarmed.

She simply pointed up and whispered. "Mistletoe."

He let out a breath. Mistletoe. It had been nothing to worry about. 

"You're supposed to kiss," came a voice. Lila.

Jemma smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling. One day here and she was already feeling better than she had been after four weeks at base.

Fitz lowered his head, and she raised hers, their lips meeting. She placed her hands on either side of his face.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, gently raising her. She lifted her legs behind her and lost herself in the moment, completely oblivious to the people around her. 

She knew the kiss was coming, but it still felt amazing. There was something about knowing what would happen, and experiencing what was happening. 

When he finally set her down, she couldn't help but feel disappointed that it hadn't lasted longer. She wanted to spend as much time as she could with him, her lips on his.

It was one of the best feelings in the world.

He opened his eyes. They were full of joy. Of excitement.

He smiled down at her as her brushed a lose strand of hair behind her ear, and whispered those three words.

And she couldn't help but cry into his chest.

***

The house looked beautiful, the tree decorated perfectly, though you could see where Lila and Cooper had been let lose. 

Jemma stood with a mug of tea, staring at the scene before her, her head resting on Fitz's shoulder. He was gently kissing her hair, murmuring again and again at just how much he loved her. They were going to leave once Jemma had finished her tea, so Clint and Laura could attempt to put a hyperactive Lila to bed. A hyperactive Lila who was now running around in fairy wings and tinsel. 

She took one last look and one last drink, draining the cup. She let it fall to her side, taking Fitz's hand with her free one. "Coming?" 

He nodded, walking through the kitchen with her, lifting the fairy lights that had been left on the table while she set down her mug. She felt guilty about not washing it, but Clint had told her to leave it, it would be left to soak overnight in the sink with everything else. 

As they made their way back to the guest house, the first snow began to fall, tiny white flakes dancing down against a dark blue sky.

Jemma shivered in the cold, her jumper not keeping her warm enough.

Fitz took of his cardigan, leaving him in only his shirt, and draped it over her shoulders. "You'll get cold!" she protested, but he just shrugged, pulling her closer.

"Nonsense," he said, wrapping his arms around her, "we're nearly there anyway."

She was just about to sigh, to protest, but they were at the front door by that point, Fitz opening it and leading her inside.

She slid her trainers of at the door, whilst Fitz locked it. He had the fairy lights hanging around his neck. She turned round to face him, not wanting to leave him.

He took her hand again, and led her down the corridor to the main bedroom. The guest house on had one floor; it was supposed to have an upstairs but Clint hadn't had the time (or resources) to build an upstairs, so left it as it was. 

"Are you okay sharing?" he asked. They hadn't shared since...well since that night.

She nodded. She wanted to share. She craved his presence. She hated sleeping alone, she hated the dark. It made her feel as though she were trapped in that Stone again, never to escape.

And she didn't want that. 

"I'll get changed in the bathroom, and I'll come in when you're ready, okay?"

She nodded again, and he rummaged in his bag for one of his nightshirts, before heading for the bathroom. 

When he was gone, she reached in his bag, lifting one of his other nightshirts, and grabbing her phone, unlocking it and selecting the music app.

She was sitting cross-legged on the bed, looking tiny in one of his over-sized night shirts. Her eyes were closed, and she was gently swaying her head to the music, when he knocked, shouting to her to see if she was dressed.

"Yeah," she called.

He dumped his clothes in pile on the floor and picking up the fairy lights, wrapping them around the headboard. He turned them on, the colours twinkling and filling the room, making it feel magical in the way fairy lights do.

Once he had finished, he extended his hand to her, "May I have this dance?"

She nodded, but before she took his hand, she turned the main light of, so the only light in the room was red, yellow, blue and green. 

_If we'd grown old together_   
_If we'd grown old together_   
  
_Eyes might age and places fade_   
_Skin gets thicker but I hope, I hope, I hope we'll feel the same_   
  
_If we'd grown old together_   
_If we'd grown old together_

It had been ages since she lost herself in the lyrics of To Kill a King, and as he swayed, she found herself close her eyes, resting her head on his chest.

***

She didn't remember climbing into bed.

She didn't remember falling asleep.

All she remembered was the never ending darkness of the Kree Stone.

The pain that it had put her through.

A scream escaped her mouth as she woke up.

Fitz was up as soon as he heard her cry of distress, muttering reassurances that he desperately hoped where helpful into her hair, stroking it. He wanted to ask her what had terrified her so much, as there was so much that she could be dreaming about. And that upset him.

That there was so much that she dreamed about that could terrify her, and that made him sick. That shouldn't be happening to her. She didn't deserve this, but yet it had happened to her. 

He sat there, comforting her until she fell asleep again. Then he stayed up longer, stroking her hair, providing comfort even though she was asleep.

He was about to go to sleep himself, when his phone flashed, a message from Skye.

It was late, he knew he should wait until the morning. But something about Skye messaging him at this time made him anxious, and his gut instinct told him he should answer it, or at least read it now. 

He gave Jemma a kiss on the head, before leaning over and unlocking his phone. He turned down the brightness settings, so as not to wake her. She was never a heavy sleeper.

He waited a second before opening Skye's message, and when he did, he felt ill. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I wrote Clint right. I'm a massive Hawkeye fan and I use Matt Fraction a lot for inspiration here, simply due to his series being awesome. It's really good, and the artwork is beautiful in it.  
> Due to a change of plans, there will be likely more than 20 chapters to this, like I originally planned, that may change depending on what happens.  
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed.  
> Marvel owns all.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has like 23 subscribers, 81ish kudos, and 2000+ hit. That means so much to me and I can't thank you guys enough for the continued support.   
> If anything is confusing about this, feel free to comment, and I'll try to explain it better.

Skye and Lincoln came the next morning, to explain to Fitz the true origins of the Stone. Jemma was still asleep, Fitz considered waking her, but she probably knew what was coming (she _always_ knew what was coming).

He made his way to the farmhouse, Clint and Laura were taking the kids out for a while, giving the three of them peace to talk about what would happen.

When Skye saw Fitz, she pulled him into a massive hug. It was evident that she hadn’t slept, that she had been crying. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot.

Fitz wrapped an arm around her, and nodded over her shoulder at Lincoln, who looked just as tired as Skye.

When they finally broke apart, the three of them went into the kitchen, sitting around the wooden dining table, the lounge being too casual for an occasion like this.

“Your text,” Fitz began, “Is it?” He didn’t need to finish, didn’t want to finish.

But Skye knew where he was coming from so he didn’t need to. “Yeah, and I’m so sorry.”

Fitz shook his head. It wasn’t Skye’s fault. “But I don’t get it, the whole unravelling thing you mentioned.”

Skye looked like she wanted to talk, but also, cry. She was trying to keep herself together. Fitz realised that this wasn’t just hard on him; it was hard on everyone. Everyone loved Jemma. Everyone cared about Jemma, and hated to see her suffer.

Lincoln spoke next. “She sees everything, but that wasn’t what was supposed to happen in the Stone, not entirely. She was supposed to gain the power to control time also, to bend it to her will.”

“But that didn’t happen,” Fitz said. Her altering time and saving Laura’s life was evident of that.

Lincoln nodded, and took a breath. “The Stone was supposed to give her that power, make her a powerful force. A dangerous force but…”

Fitz didn’t like the sound of that but. A but like that was never good.

“But,” Lincoln sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy. What he was about to say was going to crush Fitz. “But when we saved her, that was too early, she was pulled from the Stone.”

Anger flashed across Fitz’s face. Just what was Lincoln implying? Was he implying that it was his fault that Jemma was like this? His fault that Jemma was in pain? That she carried this burden?

He was about to voice some of these opinions, when Lincoln continued. “But she would have died if she were to stay in there any longer.”

“What?” Fitz asked, his voice breaking. Jemma, die?

Lincoln nodded solemnly. “The Stone brings in humans it thinks are capable, and they never are. They can’t carry these gifts. It’s too much. They get taken in and are never seen again. You’re lucky you were able to saver her, lucky that the Stone let her go.”

Fitz slumped back in his chair, having a vague idea of what would come next.

“And she’s not coping with the power.”

This was Skye, who had finally managed to speak. “She sees all of time, and all the possibilities that could occur in the time lines.”

Fitz nodded, that’s what he understood anyway.

Skye swallowed. She didn’t like what she was about to say, but it needed to be said. “That’s gonna unravel. She’s gonna lose that ability soon, Fitz. It’s too much and her brain, as brilliant as it is, simply can’t cope with the vast amount of knowledge she had.”

Fitz nodded, taking this all in. “I know, you said that to me last night.”

Skye exhaled. “It’s hard to even think about, never mind explain but. But she’s gonna not know what happens any more. It’s all gonna blur. She’s gonna know the possibilities that can happen, all at once, or only a few, it’s hard to know, this has happened to very few people, but she’s not gonna know for sure what could happen, understand?”

Fitz nodded slowly, processing this. Jemma will still have some idea of what could happen, she could know some of the possibilities of what could happen, but there would be no definite answer in her head as to what would happen.

Fitz was about to speak when a small voice from the door said, “You didn’t wake me.”

Jemma. Fitz spun round in his seat to face her, looking smaller than she usually did in his Academy hoodie. “I’m sorry,” he said but she shook her head, making her way into the kitchen.

“I should have told you earlier,” she said, filling the kettle. “I should have told you all sooner.”

“No, Jems.” Fitz got up and wrapped his arms around her, “you didn’t have to. I don’t care.”

Her head was now buried in his chest and her words muffled. “Saying it out load made it seem more real. And I’m scared Leo.”

She used his first name, and that pained him. She only used his first name when she was scared. “You didn’t have to tell me if you didn’t want to.”

She nodded, and that’s when he realised that she was crying, teardrops staining his shirt. He gently pulled away and smiled down at her. “I’ll always love you, okay? No matter what happens, I’ll always be here for you.”

She nodded as he wiped away the tears clinging to her eyelashes with her thumb. “Go take a seat, I’ll make your tea.”

But before she could sit down. Skye was on her feet, throwing her arms around Jemma. The two girls had only seen each other two days ago, but it felt like years ago now.

“I’m so sorry,” Skye whispered. She hated being the barer of bad news.

Jemma shook her head, “Skye, please. It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault.”

Skye nodded, Jemma being able to feel the movement of her head before pulling out and smiling up at her friend.

Skye didn’t realise just how small Jemma looked until she saw her in Fitz’s clothes.

The kettle continued to bubble and boil in the background, and Jemma continued to smile up at Skye, a smile that seemed to falter after a while.

“Jemma,” Skye said, realising something was wrong. Very wrong. “Jemma.”

But Jemma didn’t reply, her head was sore. Extremely sore. Black made its way in to her vison and she began to sway on her feet as dizziness washed over her.

“Jemma?” This time it was Fitz who called her name. But he sounded distant as though he were not there. As though he were underwater.

She tried to move forward but the ground came rushing up to meet her and the world turned black.

***

She woke up on the sofa, buried underneath a blanket. “Hurts,” was all she could mutter. Fitz looked up from the book he was reading, and came over to kneel beside her. “You fell Jems. We stopped you from hitting you head, but you’ve been out for five hours.”

She looked around puzzled. “Skye?”

“Yeah, she was here, had to go back to base though. She said to get well soon.”

Jemma gave an uneasy smile. Her head still hurt, felt as though it were on fire. “Oh.”

He gave her a smile, one that was supposed to be comforting, but wasn’t. There was sadness there, in his eyes. “Jems, do you remember this morning?”

She nodded. “Yeah, yeah I remember.”

He bit his lip, and reached to bush a couple of lose strands of hair away from her eyes. She rolled over so she was facing him. “Jems,” he began, not knowing what to say.

“It’s already happening, Fitz. And fast. And,” she sighed, finally glad to be able to say what she had wanted to say for so long now. “And I’m happy it is.”

Fitz stared at her, confusion evident across his face.

“Ever since I was freed, I haven’t felt human. I know, or knew, everything that would happen, and everything that could happen. And I hated that. It took way one of the things that made me human. I had to conform to these rules, had to make sure I said the right thing, did the right thing. I may have been free from my physical prison, but it didn’t feel like it.”

He understood what she meant. She had to do all the things, to make sure the future progressed the way she was told it did.

“And now,” she continued. “Now that’s all changing. I can be me again. I can do what I want, say what I want without knowing what will come next. It’ll feel…” What was the word that she was looking for? Amazing? Free? “Human.”

The smile that Fitz wore on his genuine now, it masked no sadness. “But won’t you know all the ‘What ifs’ all at once?”

She shook her head. “Not all of them. But I’d much rather know a hundred possibilities of what could happen, than the one defendant answer.” She thought for a minute, trying to think of a possible comparison that worked. “It’s like, watching a new episode of TV, would you rather have a hundred theories of what could happen or know what happens?”

“A hundred theories,” Fitz said, climbing up on to the sofa with her and resting her head on his chest.

“A hundred theories,” she repeated.  

***

Fitz didn’t know how long they stayed like that for, lying in silence on that tiny sofa together, watching the twinkling of the fairy lights.

Jemma’s face was lit up red and green when she twisted her head up to look at him. “This means we can now start our Netflix binge watches again.”

Fitz couldn’t help but laugh. Trust Jemma to think of that. “How fast is it happening?”

She thought for a second, “I don’t know, but I’m gonna say another couple of days. I only know what happens for sure for the next thousand years at the minute.”

“Thousand years,” he shook his head. And then realised. If there was a thousand years left, and there were billions of years left in the Universe, this must have been happening for days, weeks now. “Jemma, how long has this been happening for?”

“Since I save Laura.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It scared me at the beginning, and it still does. But I didn’t want to worry you, you’ve too much to deal with.”

He shook his head, tracing the side of her face with his fingers, and whispered, “Nothing is more important to me than you, Jems.”

She smiled, and reached up awkwardly to touch his face but ended up poking him in the eye.

“Sorry,” she exclaimed, both of them sitting up. He rubbed his eyes, already turning red and tears leaking out of it. “Sorry,” she said, again, pulling his hand away from his eye. “Rubbing it makes it worse, I tell you that all the time!”

He just shook his head, with all that was happening, she was still caring. She was still Jemma Simmons, with two PhDs in fields that few could pronounce the names of.

“Just blink rapidly,” she said, still holding his wrist so that he couldn’t rub it, and make it worst.

“I’m fine,” he said, and she released his wrist, still cautious that he was gonna rub his eye again.  His hand stayed there, aloft in mid-air until he placed it on the back of head, burying it there.

His lips then met hers, and she closed her eyes. Even though she knew it was coming, it still made her feel like she was the best thing in the universe, his universe, because she was. And there was nothing that could ever make her feel better than being the best thing in his universe, the star that shone the brightest.

“In a few days, you can give me surprise kisses, kisses I won’t know about,” she whispered into him, their foreheads touching and breath mingling.

“I look forward to it but for now,” he didn’t fisnish, however, his lips met hers again, full of passion, desire. The kisses they loved the most. The kisses they both had waited for many years to have.

Her hands ruffled his curls, “I look forward to it,” she breathed when they came up for air.

He opened, his eyes smiling and twinkling. They had never looked more alive than they had now. He curled a strand of hair around his finger as she stroked his face, lost in each other, both of them having thought that they’d never make it to this day if they had been asked this as little as a year ago.

And both very much in love with the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, I made Jemma lost control of her power, not being able to tell what happens in the future, only a jumble of what could happen as I feel it is easier to write. Plus it allows her to binge watch Supernatural on Netflix without knowing what happens, and it can allow for other surprises....  
> Thanks so much for the continued support, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> Marvel owns all.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support guys, it means the world to me and I love you so much for it.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter...

The next number of days passed in a whirlwind of kissing and movies for FitzSimmons. She awoke one Sunday mourning to the smells of an English breakfast being brought into their room. 

She rolled over, and found Fitz not in the bed with her but standing at the door with breakfast. He looked down at it as she smiled up at him.

"I wanted it to be a surprise, something nice," he stammered. She sat up and patted the bed beside her, motioning for him to sit down. 

"I smelt it," she said as she set the tray in her lap.

"So you didn't..."

Jemma shook her head, her mouth full. She swallowed, and then looked up at him. "I can't tell what's going to happen any more." Her eyes were wide and excited.

He placed a kiss on top of her head. "So that was a surprise?"

She elbowed him playfully. "Everything is now. That Stone, whatever it did to me, has stopped."

He placed another kiss on the top of her head, but didn't lift it this time. Just rested his head there, losing himself in her.

"Do you want to go into town today?" she asked Fitz. "There has to be somewhere I can do my Christmas shopping."

Fitz thought for a minute. "I'll ask Laura, she's bound to know somewhere?"

"Not Clint?"

Fitz shrugged. "Clint looks the type of guy who is constantly getting in trouble. He would totally get us lost."

Jemma rolled her eyes. "You can't get lost in your own town."

***

As it happens, you can get lost in your own home town. Clint had given them 'directions' to all the shops that they could buy gifts in, and somehow, they had ended up in the back alleys. 

"If we had went left instead of right," Jemma had complained, rolling her eyes.

Fitz just pulled her in closer. "We didn't pack our Christmas jumpers," he realised. 

Jemma looked up at him. "Oh yeah. I though you packed them."

He shook his head. "No... I told you to pack them."

She just shrugged. "I needed a new one anyway."

In response, he nuzzled her head with his nose. He still couldn't believe that he ever deserved her. That she would love him. Sometimes it felt like a dream, and if it were a dream, it was one he didn't want to wake from.

"You'll just steal mine," he said. "Eventually."

"Yeah."

***

Late afternoon came and brought with it more snow, so they took refuge in a coffee shop. From inside, they heard the squeals of delight from young children, excited that Christmas was a month away and that Santa would be on his way, bringing gifts, and she was able to watch the snow dance down. 

"I didn't think I'd ever be able to see that again," she said, taking the hot chocolate from Fitz. "Snow. Sun. You." She said that last word so quietly, and so softly that he almost didn't hear her.

"Hey," he said softly, gently lifting her head so that she was looking at him. "I don't know what exactly you went through, I understand that you don't want to talk about it. But you're safe. You're here."

"And I have you," she said into her mug, taking a sip. 

She looked up at Fitz and smiled, a moustache of cream causing him to sort.

"It's nice," he commented. "You should keep it."

She leaned over the table, kissing him. A cry of disgust came from the child at the table next to them.

When the broke apart, Fitz also had a moustache. "Not as nice as your stubble."

Fitz wiped the cream off his mouth and self-consciously rubbed his chin. "You like it?"

She nodded. 

"I was thinking about shaving..."

"No."

"Why not?"

Jemma started at him, eyebrow raised. "Before you were cute. Like the cutest thing ever." 

He laughed.

"I'm serious. But this makes you hot. Really hot." She reached across the table and ran her hand down the side of his face.

"Is it not annoying?"

She shook her head. She loved it, how it tickled her face. "Don't dare shave it off."

He nodded, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Okay I won't."

"Good." Jemma nodded and took another drink of her hot chocolate.

***

Later that night, back at the guest house, Fitz walked into their room to find Jemma in his pyjamas, covered in tape and wrapping paper. She had managed to wrap two presents (wrapped was a term that he used loosely; paper held together with tape was a more appropriate term).

"I wrapped yours first so you wouldn't see," she said as he removed a strip of tape that was dangling from her nose.

"Jemma," he said, looking at the mess their room was in. "You should have asked me."

She watched as he sat down opposite her. "Sorry."

He shook his head. "Not your fault. Now pass us Skye's."

***

"Leo..." Jemma moaned, lying in bed. "Leo..."

Fitz sighed heavily. He wasn't going to give in. Not this time.

"Leo!" Jemma moaned again, elongating his name. "Please!"

"Soon," he replied. He wasn't going to give, especially because she was using his first.

"Leo!" She wasn't going to give in. She tugged on his arm again. "Please!"

He rolled over to face her. "What?"

She continued to tug playfully at his arm. "Please!"

He sighed heavily again, and nodded. "Go on then."

She kissed his cheek as a way to say thanks. "It won't work next time."

She climbed out of bed, the carpet soft beneath her bare feet. "You will."

She made her way across the room and picked up the tablet, "You know you'll love it."

Fitz shook his head. "No way. It sounds annoying and kinda pretentious."

"Matt Smith is in it," Jemma informed him, walking back over to the bed, and curling up on his chest. "You like him."

"As the Doctor, yes but..."

"You've not seen him in anything besides Doctor Who, you can't complain..."

"Yeah but what happens if this film is bad, and it ruins Doctor Who for...

Jemma rolled her eyes. "Please, you didn't say that about Karen Gillan when you watched Not Another Happy Ending."

Fitz moved his head slightly to face her. "That... You... I..." He stammered, having no response to it. They had watched it (the other night in fact) and he had enjoyed it (not that he said this to Jemma).

"Fine," he finally, knowing that Jemma wanted to watch it.

Jemma shrugged. "Don't know, Matt Smith's in it and Ryan Gosling directed it. It's bound to be good."

***

Lost River was the most pretentious and arty film that Fitz had ever watched, but he still watched it all until the end. Jemma, meanwhile, had fallen asleep, causing Fitz to pause the movie to get earphones so as not to disturb her.

Once the film was over, and since he wasn't tired, he sat and watched a number of episodes of Doctor Who, deciding that Lost River hadn't ruined Matt Smith for him. 

At sometime around 2 in the morning, he decided that sleep was more important than re watching The Angels Take Manhattan for the tenth time (he couldn't take that pain again).

He removed the earphones and found that not only was Jemma asleep, she was snoring. But it wasn't heavy snores, they were short, sweet adorable ones. 

A smile swept across his face and he kissed her gently on the forehead as the sounds of her snores lulled him to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did watch Lost River form Iain (his American accent) and yes, I found it arty and pretentious, but I loved it.  
> There are still maybe 10 chapters left, I don't know. It will (hopefully) be done before Season 3. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed.  
> Marvel owns all.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK ANOTHER CHAPTER! YAY! Sorry for such a long wait, school is crazy and I honestly don't know when I can update, so many apologies.  
> But Season Three?!?!?!? It was great and this whole thing is officially not canon!  
> There's a time jump of a month in this, from the end of November in the last chapter, to December in this. Just imagine cute FitzSimmons stuff. It's up to you. Also, it's a really short chapter compared to some of the other ones but we needed this after Tuesday.

"Fitz," Jemma whispered into his ear, on Christmas morning. "Fitz, wake up!"

Fitz rolled over to face her. She was bright eyed and wide awake, not unusual for Jemma. Even at 6 in the morning. "Fitz!" she hissed, louder this time.

He bleary rubbed his eyes before smiling up at her and kissing her. "Merry Christmas to you to."

Her eyes twinkled with excitement, like she was holding something in that she couldn't keep secret.

"What?" he asked, sitting up and as his stomach twisted, with fear or excitement, he didn't yet know. 

Jemma took a deep breath, not knowing how to phrase this. "Fitz," she began, taking a shaking breath. "I'm pregnant."

Fitz was speechless. Jemma, pregnant. "Really?" he stuttered, breaking into a smile he didn't even attempt to conceal his smile. He saw how good she was with Nathaniel, how she wanted a child of her own one day, a family of her own. With him, she had said. She had wanted to spend eternity with him. 

She nodded enthusiastically, tears of joy making their way down her face. "Yes. We're going to be parents!"

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed the tip of her nose. "This makes what I got you seem tiny in comparison."

She shook her head. "No," she whispered. "No."

He pulled away and her eyes fluttered open. He reached behind his pillow and removed a box of red velvet.

Jemma couldn't help but gasp. It couldn't be? Could it?

"Jemma Simmons, I love you more than anything, more than myself and I can't imagine my life without you."

He took a deep breath as if he were preparing himself for something, and opened the box in it was a single, simple ring. "Jemma," he sighed, loving how her name rolled of his tongue. "I don't know what else to say, I had this whole speech prepared and I don't know what to say."

"Yes," Jemma said, interrupting him. "Yes." Tears were now making their way down her face faster. 

Using the sleeve of his hoodie, he wiped away the first tear that had escaped. "I want to be with you forever."

She took his face in her hands this time and pressed kisses all over his face, now having forgotten the first time she had did that, the first time she had realised that she had loved him.

"Yes," she breathed again before kissing his lips.

He placed the ring, a simple band of silver embedded with diamonds, on her ring finger.

"I love you," he whispered in his forehead.

"I know."

Fitz couldn't help but laugh at this.

Her head dipped into his chest, her eyelashes fluttering against hie neck. The sun was just rising, casting an orange glow over her, making her seem radiant. 

Which, Fitz thought, she was. She was beautiful, radiant.

Perfect.

And now, his wife.

***

Skye was the first to know of both the engagement, and the pregnancy. 

And she couldn't contain her excitement. 

"If it's a girl," Skye said, ignoring Hunter's shouts, "You're calling it Skye, right?"

Jemma laughed. "Yeah, sure we will."

"Listen, I hate to interrupt this, but you're going to want to tell your parents, and Hunter here is about to wet himself with excitement cause he wants to know what's happening, phone me later?"

"Yeah," Jemma said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Skye said before the call ended. "Merry Christmas to you too."

***

Fitz wasn't sure who cried the most, his mother or Jemma's father. His mother certainly cried the loudest, proud of her son for finally getting his happy ending. But Jemma's father was not easily understood on the phone.

The only five words that Fitz understood where "I'm gonna be a grandfather!"

Once Jemma hug up, she smiled up at him. "Thank you," she whispered, crawling across the bed to lay her head in his lap. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything."

He stroked her hair and nodded, not needing to say anything. Jemma may not hold the future in her head any more, but she always knew what he was going to say, what she was going to say.

They were two halves of a whole, two pieces of a jigsaw.

Like an atom, they couldn't be separated, try as the universe might, it couldn't.

His mother was right, they were finally getting their happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so so so much for the support again and for reading. It means so much to me. Many apologies again and I hope you enjoyed. Marvel owns all.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still somehow going and its all thanks to you guys. I wanna say thanks so much for your continued support. It means so much to me. You're the best.

As happy as a day as it was for both the newly engaged couple, and the Barton family, Christmas day was tinged with sadness. Tomorrow, FitzSimmons were due to return to the Playground. Coulson had called earlier that morning, informing them that Fitz couldn't stay away any longer, Bobbi needed the help in the lab, but Jemma could stay if she wanted.

Jemma had said no. She could't leave Fitz. She was bound to him. She didn't want to leave him, not ever. After all that had happened. They were meant for each other, worked better together. And after all the time that they had spent apart... It was something that she never wanted to experience again.

As a way to say thank, they made the Christmas Lunch.

Laura had tried to protest, saying that it was okay.

Fitz shook his head, his arm wrapped around Jemma's waist. "It's fine. You've did so much for us. See this as a thank you gift from us. We honestly can't thank you enough."

Jemma nodded. "It's Nathaniel's first Christmas, you shouldn't miss a thing."

Laura agreed in the end, though somewhat reluctantly. "Thank you."

Fitz waved his hand. "It's nothing. You've did so much to help us."

In the kitchen, Lila soon joined, eager to help. Jemma was anxious, scared to let this young girl help. She didn't want her to get injured. Fitz, meanwhile, though it was fine, allowing her to help sort out the cutlery, while Jemma dealt with the actual cooking.

"It's been ages since I've cooked," Jemma whispered, bending down in front of the oven to remove the turkey. "I didn't think I'd ever miss it."

"When was the last time you cooked?" Lila asked, helping Fitz carry the glasses into the dining room. Her mother had said that she shouldn't ask Jemma questions about the past year, it might make her sad. But this wasn't about what had happened. Was it?

"April."

Lila's mouth dropped open. That was months ago now. Many months ago now. "Wow."

Jemma nodded, setting the turkey on the sideboard. "Yeah wow. Do you want to tell your mummy and daddy that lunch is ready?"

Lila ran off, nodding as she went.

"Eight months," was all Fitz could say, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her neck.

"I know," she murmured back, leaning her head on top of his. "Thank you."

"You're going to be doing most of the work," he laughed.

She shook her head. "No. For everything."

"Don't be silly, Jems."

She sighed. "You've did so much for me. You've did everything for me. And I've hurt you, so many many times."

He looked at you, spinning her around. "No. You've never heard me. And you never would."

But all Jemma did was nod, tears starting to form in her eyes. "The Med Pod."

Fitz felt his stomach twist. He never did find out the reason that she left, and after all that had happened, he didn't care any more. "It doesn't matter Jems, not any more."

"Let me tell you, please."

He agreed, knowing that it might help her for her to say this. "I was hurting you. I wasn't letting you recovery. I was making you worse. That's why I left."

Fitz wasn't expecting that. He was never expecting that. "No, Jems you weren't."

She scrunched her face up, and tears escaped. "I was." Her voice was tiny.

He used his thumb to wipe away a tear. "No, you weren't." A kiss was placed upon her nose. "Let's get lunch, okay?"

She nodded again, and he placed another kiss on her nose.

***

The lunch was amazing, Clint and Laura couldn't thank the two scientist enough.

Lila and Cooper were ecstatic when  Fitz handed them a present each, something that they weren't expecting.

"What do you say?" Laura questioned, leaving the table to calm down a now crying Nathaniel.

"Thank you!" they both cried in unison. They were both eager to leave the table, that was evident from the way that they were sitting.

"You can leave," Clint said, with the help of Fitz.

"What's UK time?" Jemma asked, out of curiosity, watching Lila and Cooper play with their presents, from Santa, and from them.

"Seven-ish?" Clint called from the kitchen. "Why is there anything you want to watch?"

"Nothing, just wondering," Jemma replied at the same time as Fitz gave a laugh and called out, "The Doctor Who Christmas Special!"

Jemma cringed, but Clint said that they could use the laptop to stream it.

And that's how the newly engaged couple spend their first afternoon of their forever together; curled up under a blanket, sharing a set of earphones, and watching Doctor Who.

And they wouldn't have it any other way.

***

That evening, they began backing. May was coming for them at eleven, and they wanted to be ready for her coming.

A single glass of wine, red as blood, sat on the table and caught the light of the twinkling fairy lights.

"I'm gonna miss here," Jemma said, curled up on the bed. She had offered to help, but Fitz being Fitz, had refused to let her help, saying that she should rest. Jemma had retorted saying that she would be spending the next number of months resting anyway.

Fitz nodded in agreement, and threw a hoodie in the bag. "It was amazing. Can't believe that they let us stay. We can't thank them enough."

"Laura can't thank me enough," Jemma commented idly. She had her hand raised in front of her face, staring at the ring on her finger.

Fitz didn't know what to say to this, something that was a first. He always knew what to say to Jemma, but now he didn't. "You saved her."

"Yeah." The word came out as more of a sigh than anything else. "Fitz." Her tone changed as the song changed, soft music seeping out of the speaker.  "It's our song."

She was right, it was their song.

He abandoned his packing, throwing down the towel he was holding and extended his hand to her instead. "Dance?"

She rolled her eyes. "Obviously."

_"Besides," she said outside the tent_   
_"They are playing out song"_   
_We're bent, we're broke, we're leaning on each other_   
_Duffled and drunk and the fumes billowing out_   
_And the city seems so distant, so goodnight_   
_Goodnight_

She rested her head on his chest, his hand on the small of her back, as they swayed to the music. "I need to book you lessons."

"Why?"

She pulled her head back, looking up at him. "The wedding."

"What? I can dance," he protested in mock annoyance, dipping her back suddenly. She gave a cry of delight before grabbing the front of his shirt, and pulling his face down and placing a kiss on his lips.

"When will we have it?" he asked, lifting her to her feet again. "The wedding I mean?"

Jemma thought for a minute. "May?"

"Spring wedding?"

She nodded. "Either that or wait til..."

Fitz nodded. "May it is."

And so they danced the night away, savouring the start of the rest of their lives together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So back to base in the next chapter. As much as I love the Bartons, we have to say goodbye to them. But back at base, we shall have cute fluff, including the wedding and the birth! So that's something... Thanks so much for reading and marvel, per usual, owns all.  
> The lyrics are from Besides She Said, by To Kill A King


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So another chapter... Sorry for irregular updates, school is crazy. Thanks so much for the support, you guys are the best. Hope you enjoy this.

Jemma was barely in the doors when Skye's arms were wrapped around her, pulling her into a hug. "Congratulations," she sobbed, over whelmed.

Which set Jemma off.

"Thank you," she said, burying her head in her best friend's shoulder.

Skye pulled away, and held Jemma's shoulders, taking in her best friend. "Wow. How far?"

Jemma shrugged. "No exact date, maybe a month and a half."

Skye just gave a massive smile, pulling Jemma in for another hug.

Fitz just laughed, lugging the bags in with May. "Careful."

Skye rolled her eyes, deciding that Fitz would be her next victim. "Congrats Mr. FitzSimmons."

"Mr. FitzSimmons?" he asked, wondering what Skye was talking about.

Skye nodded.

"She's under the idea that you're combining your names, not just one person taking the others." This was May's voice, leaning against the door frame. 

Fitz set the bag down, and wrapped an arm around Skye. "That's not too bad of an idea."

Jemma nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we really hadn't though of anything yet. It's all just been a lot happening at one moment."

"Well you should," Skye replied. "You've always been FitzSimmons, after everything. It's like just the ultimate couple name."

A snort from the door. Hunter. "Oi May, leave the bags I'll take them in."

May shook her head, and as if to show that it was nothing to her, she lifted them all in one go, and walked to the corridor with the bunks.

"Rude," was all Hunter could whisper to the other three.

"You shouldn't have insulted May," Skye joked back. "I though that you'd learnt that."

Hunter just heaved a sigh. "I have learnt. I was just being nice."

"There's being nice, then there's Hunter being nice," Jemma said innocently, batting her eyelashes.

Hunter gave an exasperated gasp. "I though us Brits were supposed to stick together."

"Nice to see you to Hunter," Jemma finally gave in, as he went in for a hug.

"Though you were an engaged woman, hugging other men."

"That I am Hunter, just don't anger him. You wouldn't like him when he's angry."

"That I wouldn't. Plus, he's sweet. We all love Fitz."

Fitz rolled his eyes. "Skye said you were happy when she was on the phone to us yesterday."

Jemma pulled away, as Fitz wrapped a hand around her waist. "I think what she said was 'Hunter here is about to wet himself with excitement cause he wants to know what's happening.'"

Hunter turned to Skye. "I...You...Them..."

Skye laughed. "I had to it was great. Wish I had gotten it on my phone. Bobbi would have loved that."

"The security cameras," Fitz suggested.

Skye nodded. "You say hi to everyone else, I'll search for the footage."

Hunter just sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Happy happy stuff? Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this. Marvel owns all.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK THIS IS BACK!! Sorry for the long wait, I hit the wall with this fic, and needed some time to regain my muse. Hope that's all OK. I wanna say thanks for all the support for this, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Later that night, Skye and Hunter decided that a party was in order, not only to celebrate the engagement of FitzSimmons, and their pregnancy, but to celebrate the end of 2015. Hunter had wanted a banner that read, "2016, here's hoping it's less shitty than 2015" but both Bobbi and Skye had disagreed with that idea. 

There were crates of beers lining the tables, as well as cans of soda, and bowls overflowing with food.

Jemma stood to one side, a can of soda in her hand, and slightly swaying to the music that flowed through the room. She had to agree with Hunter's idea, as stupid as it was. 2015 was a shitty year, what with being stuck in an alien rock for nearly half of it, and she did hope that next year was better. Well, there were two things that she was looking forward to.

Hunter made his way over to her, a slight stagger to his step. It certainly didn't take long for the guy to get drunk. "Jemma," he slurred, throwing his arm around her shoulders. "Come have a drink." 

She smiled, shaking her head and laughing.

He raised an eyebrow, wondering why a woman who did love a beer, was denying one now.

"I'm pregnant," she said, putting emphasis on the second word.

"Oh," Hunter said, his eyebrows rising further still. "Don't want to hurt baby Hunter?" 

Skye laughed at this, coming up from behind Hunter. Skye, unlike the mercenary, could hold her alcohol better than Hunter, not as well as Jemma, but better than Hunter. "I thought it was baby Skye?"

Jemma rolled her eyes, a characteristic that Skye thought that she would never see again. "He's decided that it's Hunter now, apparently."

Hunter nodded eagerly, "Hunter FitzSimmons."

Jemma nodded, playing along with his idea. "Could work, but..." She trailed of, an idea forming in her mind.

"But what?" Hunter and Skye both asked at the same time. Jemma Simmons was extremely intelligent, and any idea coming from her had the potential to either be very good, or very bad.

"Skye, could you film something for me?" 

Skye nodded uneasily, but did what her friend had asked her.

"I'll name the baby Hunter, on one condition."

Being drunk, all of Hunter's thought processes were not working as well as they could be, and he nodded, dropping he can that he had in his hand. It fell to the ground with a clatter, the liquid pouring everywhere. That's going to leave a mark, Jemma though.

"Hunter, I'll name the baby for you, if you do anything I ask you for the next eight months," Jemma proposed.

Hunter accepted the offer, shaking Jemma's hand on it. Skye, who was now filming this deal that took place, understood what was happening.

Hunter staggered off, declaring that he was going to be a father.

Jemma just laughed, knowing that Hunter was going to regret this all in the morning.

"Shall I email this to you?" Skye asked, already typing Jemma's email into her account.

"Of course."

***

The next morning Lance Hunter awoke with one of the worst hangovers that he had ever suffered, and that was saying something. He had had some pretty bad hangovers in his time.

And he had missed breakfast. Though 2016 hadn't yet even began, and wouldn't for another number of days, he was already wanting it to be 2017.

"Morning," Jemma said, looking up from her tablet. 

"Shush," Hunter said, hoping that there was still coffee left. There wasn't.

Today wasn't really his day, and it wasn't going to get better.

"There's still dishes to be done," Hunter pointed out.

"There is."

"And your drinking tea."

Jemma decided to play that card right back. "Yes I am. No wonder you work for S.H.I.E.L.D. Your observation skills are just amazing."

"It's your turn," Hunter said, making his way to where the cleaning router was, only to find that Jemma had scored her name out (multiple times) and replaced it with his.

"One month," he said, spinning round to face her.

"One and a half actually."

Hunter was exasperated. She had been spending too much time with Bobbi. One Bobbi was enough. One Bobbi was manageable.

Two Bobbis, however, was something that he couldn't cope with, and something that he did't think the world was ready for yet.

"Like eight months I could understand. When you look like you've swallowed a planet and what not, but one and _a half months_  is a bit excessive."

Jemma smiled sweetly, but Hunter knew those smiles, there was always something hidden behind them. "Well," she began, opening something on her tablet. "You were drunk last night." She paused, waiting for him to say something, but he didn't, he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of the reply. And he knew that he was extremely dunk. His headache was evident enough. "And you asked me to name the baby after you. And I said that I would if you do anything I ask for the next eight months."

"Shit," Hunter mouthed, as Jemma passed him the tablet, and he watched their deal unfold on the tablet.

Jemma gave a smug smile as she stood up and removed the tablet from his hands. "You can also wash that cup," she said, using her head to gesture to it. "I've to go get ready."

"Where you off to!" he called after her as she walked out the door.

"England!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to those who spot the Doctor Who reference. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this. Marvel owns all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I decided rather than some transportation fics I've been reading that I was going to merge Jemma with the Stone (because I'm evil) and have her reaction almost to it.


End file.
